1983
by The Atomic Cafe
Summary: Claire doesn't want Mac to join the Marines.


**1983**

**By Dimgwrthien**

_Disclaimer: I do not own CSI: NY or affiliates. _

Claire let herself into Mac's apartment, glancing around as she closed the door after herself. He always kept it amazingly neat and organized with its sharp corners and contrasts obvious. She had to smile to herself every time she saw it - it was a certain mark of the Marine in him, but she couldn't see that side of him too easily. Maybe she tried to ignore it, but it never stood out to her.

"Mac?" she called, trying to find where he was. From the bedroom, he called back to her.

"Over here, Claire."

She followed the sound of his voice, finding him at his desk with a pen in hand and a smile on his face. He stood up and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "What're you doing over here?"

"I came to annoy you," she told him with a grin. "Nah. I'm just here to ask if you wanted to— " She paused and glanced at the papers on his desk.

He followed her eyes and froze. "Claire— "

"I can't believe you," she whispered, picking up the first page and noticing the title on it. "Mac, you know I love you, but— "

Mac took the page from her hand and sat her down on the edge of the bed. "We've talked about this."

"And I don't like the idea." Her eyes were wide, and she felt as though she was seeing a completely different man. "Don't you dare, Mac."

"I was in the Marines when we met, and I'm not giving that up." He put the pen on the desk behind him, then intertwined his fingers in his lap.

"I don't have a problem with you being in the Marines," Claire answered, her voice rough and raising a pitch. "It's just _this_." She pointed to the paper. "I don't want to see you overseas for this kind of thing!"

Mac put his head in his hands, trying to find a way to give her the same answer that he always had, but in a different way. Claire had told him repeatedly that she didn't know too much about what was going on all over, and that "I never went to college for history and government - I went for art and business!" However, she always added that she knew that the Marines were dangerous most of the time, and she hated seeing him in danger. Mac always explained to her that, in all the years he had served in the Marines, nothing had ever happened to him, and that it was what he wanted to do.

"Nothing is going to happen," he told her. "Claire, it's only a year or so, and then I'll be right back here again."

"And if something did happen?"

"Claire— "

"_And if something did happen?_" she asked, her voice low and dangerous-sounding.

Mac kept silent. They both knew perfectly what would happen if anything went wrong.

"Would I be getting a certain letter?" she asked him, eyes narrowed slightly, but he noticed how watery they were.

He wondered if she really would, or if the only letter would go to his father. "Yes," he answered blandly. "Listen to me, though. What are the chances of anything happening to me?"

"Too high." Her voice had risen again and she sounded close to hysteria. "Mac, we've been together three years and I'm not losing you now!"

He grabbed her by the wrists, keeping a gentle hold on her. She seemed to calm down a little. "And you won't." He kissed her cheek again, but didn't draw away. He whispered into her ear, trying to calm her more. "I'll be back right after this, and we can get married then, alright?"

Claire stared at him, her eyes still watery, though it wasn't a frightened or angry look. Her head bobbed up and down slowly.

They had only spoken about marriage once before, and Mac couldn't figure out whether it was as a joke or not. They went to have lunch with one of Claire's friends and her husband, who had married less than a month before that day. Claire had said, "If Mac doesn't propose soon, I think I'll have to steal your husband." Mac had laughed with them, then told her that if he didn't by the end of the year, she could.

"Really?" she asked him, still staring him down.

Mac nodded. "When I get back, I'm getting a ring, proposing to you, and then you can plan everything." He smiled and leaned in to give her a kiss on the lips. When he pulled back, he saw that a tear had fallen onto her cheek.

He had never found crying at all beautiful, but Claire made it seem like a sacrament.

"Alright," she whispered, and her breathing was harsh and slow. Mac couldn't stop looking at how beautiful she was there, giving him that look that he had never seen her give anyone else.


End file.
